Book of Feckin' Irish Insults

Hey you! Yeah, you holding this book... you with the face like a constipated greyhound. You're the sap in the family tree. Wouldn't know your langer from your thumb except for the nail. Word is, if brains were taxed, you'd be due a rebate. 

But why stand there and be insulted? Unless you have trouble spelling IQ or are as useless as a concrete currach, grab this feckin' book now and get your insult in first!